Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Make it work or let it go?
Question... if you are married and your partner cheats are you obligated to work it out or is that grounds to end the marriage? This is a very interesting question as many marriages have ended over cheating. However, there are many with a far more traditional opinion of marriage that feel that you work out your differences no matter what. When you think of the traditional wedding vows you do kind of pledge in front of God and everyone else that you are going to stick with this person for the rest of your life "until death do you part" "for better or worse" "loving unconditionally". So does all this go out the window if they cheat. Does that make the contract null and void? Or is there a higher level of responsibility for married couples to try and get past such a thing? Of course if you're just dating and some joker cheats then go ahead and get rid of him/her. But when you've taken the big leap with them shouldn't you give it more. It sometimes seems that the marriages of some aren't any different than long term relationships. People get divorced when they get tired of the other, they "don't love them anymore", or a newer younger model is on the market. With that being said there are many completely understandable and justifiable situations where a divorce is necessary. Is cheating one of those situations? Can you get past a cheating wife or husband? If so how? Will the marriage ever be the same? Can the trust ever be fully restored? If you are married and your spouse commits adultery is it okay to just leave them or are you obligated to try and work it out?
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4 comments:
Being a lawyer by profession, I have to handle many such cases and situations that you have referred in your present post.
I have tried narrating some cases in my following blog. You may read it at your convenience.
LIFESTYLE AND RELATIONSHIP
Naval Langa
SHORT STORIES by NAVAL LANGA
PAINTINGS GALLERIES
there are so many other variables that come into play. cheating is cheating, but there are 'degrees' of cheating. damn, this could be a long comment.....length and intensity are the main variables that come to my mind. i think it would be easier to forgive a one night thing versus an intense love affair over months or years.
the idea of this hurts my heart, so i'm going to leave my comment as is.
Tis true as the vows say that we should remain for better or worse; however, as it has been discussed before when a partner cheats most of your trust is thrown out of the window. Can you really continue another 10 years of marriage without wondering is he really going to the bar to watch the game tonight or wondering if it really takes that long to pick up a few groceries. It's sad but we can forgive but we never really forget. Some people who can't forget only make the relationship worse by their constant worrying, nagging, and accusations so is it really worth it to keep the marriage going...?
I love this topic. Everyone is different and everyone handles cheating differently. Personally, I will never fully trust you again so that will destroy the relationship (so i plan to have a cheating clause in my prenuptual agreement--sidebar: can you have a prenup if you are broke?--) Secondly, you made a comment about an oath before GOD...Didn't God know he was a heathen so technically the divorce might not be such a bad thing. And please no hate mail, I am not disrespecting GOD in no way because he has done alot for me...but come on everything we learn about the "powers" of God, he had to know. So maybe the oath was doomed from the beginning...Just food for thought
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