Where have they all gone?

Question…Where did all the good men and women go? This is a question I’ve heard asked my many people. Many of my male friends only want a good woman, but for some reason they just can’t find one. This is even more so the case for my female friends. The search for a reasonable man is just about as successful as the search for Bin Laden. How is it possible that all these men are searching for good women and all these women are searching for good men, but both parties keeps coming up empty handed? What’s the problem, I mean I know women (esp black women) have been accused of being too picky. I’m not sure what constitutes as being too picky, but most of us just want an employed, intelligent, interesting man, preferably with some ambition, and his own residence. I don’t think that’s asking too much. To be honest I don’t really understand why my male friends have such trouble finding women. I mean simply look at the ratio of men to women, its like a candy store of ladies to choose from. All colors and flavors out there for you. I guess it’s a matter of quality rather than quantity in this situation. But for women it’s a little different. Not as many men to choose from, crazy competition from other woman who sniff out decent men like blood hounds. If you have any preferences like gainfully employed, college educated, and interested in a serious relationship the pool gets even smaller. Understand I’m not implying there are no good men out there because I’m positive there are a decent number, they are just seemingly hard to find. However I am a woman so despite my efforts to be neutral in this, I’m a tad biased. What about this lack of “good women”. Since I’m not a guy I don’t really know what they consider “good”. But I swear every other day I meet another beautiful, smart, well spoken, single woman that would love to have a relationship if the right man would just come along. And if there are all these “good” men and “good” women looking for each other why in the world aren’t they finding each other?

Woman's Work?

Question…Do all men want a woman that cooks and cleans. I was having a conversation with a girlfriend, she and her boyfriend have lived together for a little over a year now. She works full time, goes to school part time, and they have a 5 month old baby (just a little history). For years my friend has told me that you have to cook and clean to keep a man, that’s just the way it is. This has never been a huge issue for me because I love cooking (especially for my man when i have one) and I like a clean house. But this isn’t the case for my friend. She’s not the best cook and she only wants to clean when she has too. This has worked for her for quite some time now since her boyfriend is a really good cook and keeps a clean house. The problem is now they are talking about marriage and he feels that if she is going to be a wife, she needs to learn to do more “wifely” type things like cooking and cleaning. I personally think that’s a bunch of crap, but what do I know. Anyway, she says that on nights when she comes home and cooks dinner, and straightens up the house her guy is nicer to her. So I ask, guys when it comes to long term relationships is cooking and cleaning a necessity for the woman? And if you know your girl isn’t he greatest of cooks do you expect her to make a change after you’ve got married or moved in together? Is cooking and cleaning really a “wifely” responsibility or should it be split among the two adults? I actually remember hearing a blurb on the morning news once that said married woman do like 3X as much housework as their partners (don’t quote me on the numbers) but what it boiled down to was that women do way more housework than their husbands, even if both parties had full time jobs. I do believe that in households where one party is a stay at home, there is some expectation that dinner is cooked and the house is clean. Many moons ago when I lived with my ex there was a period where he was not working and I was. There were a number of times I came home to him laying across the couch watching ESPN, house a mess, dishes everywhere, and not even an attempt to cook something. I would be highly frustrated and annoyed with this scenario. But if both parties are working full time should there be the same expectation that the woman will work a full day, come home cook, clean, and tend to the children? Do we still have that 1950 perception of what a woman’s work is?

What if he's bad with money?

Question...Do you dump a guy for being bad with money? So here is the situation. You meet a guy that's great. Sweet, fun, good personality. Own place, own car, seems to be doing well. When you guys start dating he takes you out to the nicest restaurants, plays, all types of fun stuff. You think (besides the typical issues most men have) he's a great guy. However, as the relationship goes on you realize that a lot of that wining and dining he's done for you has been on credit. In fact he has mounting credit card debt. You also find out that with his own real money, he's just barely making ends meet. So you are at the point where you can actually politely say something about the money and you inquire about the amount of debt he has or how much savings he has. When you ask these probing questions and he always has a great answer (like he's rehearsed it a thousand times) to make you think he has it all under control, but you have a sneaking feeling he doesn't. So my question is, is this reason to break off a relationship? How much intervention or probing is acceptable by the woman? Is this something they can work through? How should the woman deal with such a situation?