YBR-- Don't it Always Seem to Go...

Questions... Why is it that guys are always much more interested in you when you are not longer interested in them? This is a phenomenon that I have never understood and I know I'm not the only woman to experience this. So I have so many illustrations of this craziness, but I'll just talk about a couple. First, girl sees guy that she really likes, guy seems interested too. So they go out on a few dates, have a great time, girl thinks things are cool. So she starts to invite him out more so they can continue to get to know each other. Guy starts acting distant. This goes on for about a month and girl finally gives up and stops calling. Weeks later guy is calling and texting again talking about "we haven't hung out in so long, I really want to see you" or even better "I really miss spending time with you when can I see you again". Next example guy and girl date for about 6 months and things seem to be going right, then guy seemingly out of now where says he just can't deal with a relationship anymore...he has some things he just needs to work out for himself. So girl accepts the information, they remain "friends" for a while, then she starts to move on. All of a sudden guy wants to invite her to parties, out on dates with his couple friends, wants to take those trips they talked about when they were together. I understand the thrill of the chase, but is it really that deep. You have a woman, you take her for granted, she leaves (or you push her away), then the chase is back on to get her back? And then will this cycle just repeat itself if you get her back. I just can't understand why this happens so often. Its almost like if you really like a guy you have to pretend to be indifferent and uncaring for a while just to keep things going. Who has times for games like that?

YBR-- The Milk, but not the Cow

Question…What’s up with men wanting all the aspects of a relationship without making it official? (Disclaimer: I am not referring to all men, just a substantial many. I realize that there are many good men out there that are ready for a relationship. I recognize and appreciate such men…Anyway). I’ve had a ton of experience with these shenanigans. You meet a guy, you date, you date for a while, things seem to be going well, but instead of actually becoming a couple they “don’t want to define things”. Or they “just want to keep things the way they are”. It all boils down to the fact that they don’t want to be in an actual relationship. However, they want you to be exclusive to them, they want you to act like their girlfriend and be there whenever they need you, they expect to get lovin on regular basis. They want you to take on all the responsibilities of a girlfriend…without the commitment. What kind of malarkey is that? I myself have been in this situation before and after a while you really start to wonder what the heck the problem is. If you applied for a job and were told…we want you to take on all these responsibilities, put forth your best effort in getting your work done on time, and always be available in case we need you…but by the way we don’t really want to give you a paycheck. Would you go for that? It’s like putting all your savings in a stock that promises no return on investment. And we all know relationships (whether you have a title or not) are huge investments of time and emotion. Am I making too big of a deal with this, should we just be willing to go with the flow? What’s the deal with the guys, why are they so averse to making it official?

YBR-- Getting out of the Weird Space

Question…Have you ever gotten to that place where you and your mate are fighting for no reason. Somehow everything they say sets you off and vice versa. It’s a very weird place to be in and it can definitely cause some distance between you and your other. I’ve always wondered what causes this, is it just a natural cycle of a relationship? Is it a result of just needing some space from your other? And what do you do to get out of the strange place. I heard somewhere…maybe on the radio that in long term relationships you often have to get to know your other again throughout the relationship as the two of you change. They suggested that in times when you're not talking (or always doing petty bickering) with your other to try small icebreakers to lighten the things up and put you both in a more receptive mood. Logically it seems like a decent move considering no one likes being in that weird space with their other. Any other suggestions for getting past this phase?