Does Size Matter?

Questions...Does size really matter? No I'm not talking about the size of that, I'm talking about ring size. I have a friend that is all into engagement rings. She always knew that she wanted a big ring. Part of her theory was that especially if the woman has had to put up with shenanigans during the course of the relationship, the man needs to put in some work for the ring. I've always thought that when I do get proposed to I'd just be happy with whatever ring I was given. Of course, who wouldn't appreciate an eye catcher, but ultimately it was the thought behind the ring rather than the size of it. But if you are that person that wants a rock and you get a pebble, then what? Does it mean the person loves you any less? Do you simply take it and smile or voice your concern about it? And what are the implications of that?

Are you Intimidated

Question… Are you intimidated? I was once told buy a guy that I was intimidating. We had just met actually. We were both at a party, he came over and sparked up a conversation and it was really nice. Of course the common things come up what do you do, are you in school…yadda yadda yadda. So as prompted or when appropriate I shared some of the things I had going on. We talked for quite some time and as he found out more about me and some of the things I had done in my short life he told he I was pretty intimidating. In fact he said it a few times as we spoke. Although we had a great conversation that night, we did not end up exchanging numbers that night…lol. I assume because I was a bit too intimidating for him. It got me to thinking though. Yes I have a job, yes I’m in grad school, yes I have some pretty ambitious goals, but shouldn’t those be appealing things. Since when did a driven woman become unattractive? I once dated a guy who is the only guy I’ve ever met that was more ambitious than I was and it was great. We had a bit of a healthy competition going on sometimes, not in a bad way, but we both encouraged each other to go farther and do better. It was really nice. He was never put off by anything of the things I went after. But can a powerful, successful, financially comfortable woman drive a man off these days? Is it important for the man to feel as if he is doing better, making more, or rising higher than his woman? In situations where the woman makes more money or has the more prominent career, will the man feel less than?

The Line Between "Bigger Person" and "Doormat"

Question...where do you draw the line between being the bigger person and being a doormat? This question comes from a conversation I had yesterday with a relative. We were talking about my current relationship situation. In my relationship I felt that I was becoming a doormat. In my attempts to keep peace I would simply let things go. Whenever there was an "issue" I was always the one to forgive and accept. The dynamics were far from 50/50. The person I was dealing with then in my opinion took things way too far. Since that time I've chosen to take a very firm stance regarding how I feel and what I'm not going to deal with. My relative however feels that I'm being stubborn and "stooping to his level".
She used herself and her marriage as an example. Now I think her husband can be mean and stubborn and really takes her for granted. I in no way question how much he loves her and I know that he has times where he can be very sweet, but overall he doesn't give her the level of kindness and respect she should get. She on the other hand caters to him. She calls it "killing him with kindness". She proceeded to lecture me for 45 minutes on how you must do this, especially with men who are difficult and "don't always know how to show love". I do agree that kindness is a very helpful tool in dealing with difficult people, however, I am past the point of constantly bending for a person that does not reciprocate or at the very least show some appreciation for me. I consider this being a doormat.
Maybe she has taken this stance because she's already married so she feels she's stuck. But I believe that at some point you have to demand the level of respect you want and if the person is unwilling to give it to you then the person simply risks losing you. Although this stance can sometimes hurt, I believe it to be far better than the alternative of always being a doormat (which will hurt a lot more and a lot longer if you ask me). So I ask you am I wrong, should I continue catering to someone that clearly takes me for granted or am I right to be firm and stand up for myself?

Bad Timing

Question… why is it that your other is never ready to make up when you are? This comes from an episode of SATC my friend and I were watching the other day. In the episode Carrie and Aiden got into a huge fight and she walked out of the house. After drinking coffee, writing, and chatting, she came home ready to put the fight behind her. Only to find that Aiden was still pissy, which just made her pissy again. Now this is such a common occurrence… one person is ready to start loving again, the other is still stewing in their anger. Why is that? Do men and women really just go through the cycle of emotions differently? The funny part about it is if in fact you’re ready for making up and your partner isn’t it just makes you mad all over again and surely extends the fight all together. Because not only are you pissed at what they did, now your pissed because they have the nerve to still be mad at you when they are the reason you’re fighting (at least that’s how you feel regardless of who’s fault the fight was). Is it possible to get you other on your cycle before they are ready? Or do you just have to suck it up and deal with the pissyness? What if it starts to get out of hand, I mean people begin to get stubborn (have you seen the movie the break up). It goes from being a fight to a battle of wills, the person who breaks first is admitting defeat and that cannot be done at any cost. Well I guess that’s a bit much, but you get where I’m going. So how do you get your other back in that loving feeling when they are still pissy with you?