Question…what do you do if your man won’t marry you? So this morning while reading the all important facebook updates, one of my friends left a message that basically told women over 25, if you’ve been with a guy for more than 5 years and he hasn’t married you yet…he isn’t going to. It brings me to the question how long is too long? Can you really put a time limit on something like marriage? This was even discussed on the radio last week, the dj said that in his opinion the perfect time for a couple to get married is between the 2nd and 4th years of a relationship. The logic being that getting married before 2 years of dating is too soon and after 4 years if he hasn’t asked yet there is a reason and he’s never going to.
Now I do pretty much agree with the statement. If a man has been with you for years and hasn’t married you there is a reason. Granted there are exceptions, two of my aunts actually were with their men for over a decade (one 15 years and the other 11) they had children and everything without being married. But the guys eventually did marry them and they’ve been happily married ever since. So ladies, what do you do? Do you leave a decent relationship because he won’t propose to you? Do you stay with him, even move in and play the wife role without the commitment? Do you give him the ultimatum “either we’re going to get married or I’m leaving? Or do you just walk away period?
And guys, also help me understand? I know some guys that have lived with, had children with, and laid up under a woman for years and have no intention of marrying her. If she’s good enough to wake up to every day, to share your daily life, money, and bodily fluids with, why isn’t she good enough to marry? Is it fear, complacency, greener pasture syndrome? Why invest so much in a woman that you have no intention of marrying? Women why invest so much in a man that has no intention of marrying you?
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4 comments:
What's the BIG DEAL with marriage? That's the question that needs to be asked. Why the need? Why the rush? Why the need to satisfy others?
If you are getting everything you want out of the relationship and every thing you need...Does the documentation really matter?
And to be truthfully honest, marriage doesn't equate or guarantee longevity, but what it does guarantee is a MESSIER MORE STRESSFUL BREAKUP. Get Real...
~feenix
p.s. If a man does not ask you to marry him after 5 years it may be just because he doesn't want to be married. BUT AFTER 5 YEARS AND HE IS STILL WITH YOU THEN WE CAN EDUCATIONALLY DEDUCE THAT ITS NOT THAT ABOUT THE INABILITY TO COMMIT!!!!
"What is the big deal with marriage?" Well I can't speak for everyone, but I think marriage is still a very significant committment. I guess it begs the question, are we dating to find someone to spend your life with or just to satisfy common needs.
For me its the former, I'm looking for a life partner, but if my parnters isn't willing to commit his life to me then what is the point? I also don't believe that its beneficial for me to be with a man and take on some of the roles and responsibilities of a wife if he is not willing or interested in taking it to the next level.
I guess ultimately it depends on your view of marriage. If you see it as just a piece of documentation, then your right it really doesn't matter as long as you're happy. But if you see it as something much bigger and significant than that, then it really does matter.
But what is the bigger more significant part. Because you take on the roles and responsibilities of a "wife" when you are just the girlfriend, whether you are the girlfriend for a day or for a year, the role is the same. So if your not going to press homie for marriage day one then at the end of the day the situation remains the same!
i just think marriage means diff things to men and women. cause truth be told, a man will walk away from a woman for whatever, married or not. kids or not, living together or not....the list goes on. when they are done, that's it. and the same can be said for some women.
i will say that for me, being married kept us together during our really rough patch(es). cause we knew we couldn't just going to break up or date other people.
oh young love!
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