Question...if a man experiments or occasionally interacts with another man, does that make him gay? This post is a result of the overwhelming information I've seen the past couple days about men that have experimented with guys in the past or men that are "gay for pay" (a la the Tyra Banks show). So its got me wondering, if you met a great guy that you really got along with and he one day confided in you that although he is completely straight he has been with men in the past. Or he still finds men attractive. Does this make him gay? Would you continue to date him?
Its interesting because most guys (not all, but most) would probably be excited or not bothered at all if their girls liked to mix it up with other girls, but I don't believe the same is true for women. So if you have a guy that meets all of your criteria, but he has or has had bi sexual tendencies...What do you do?
Even deeper than that, what if you found out your man cheated with another man or let another man give them special kisses if you know what I mean. Would it be the same as if he'd cheated with another woman? Would you be more/less upset? The one lady on the show I was watching said she's completely fine with her boyfriend doing sexy internet activities with other men, as long as he doesn't do anything with a woman. Really?
In the shows and scenario's I've encountered the past few days, they all involved men that say they are completely and totally straight. As in only attracted to women, but they have tried some loving with a guy before. Some of them were into gay porn, but had girlfriends and kids and claimed they only did it for the money. Is it possible to be straight with gay tendencies?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
if you're straight with gay tendancies, aren't you BI?! i think gay & straight are very cut and dry, and Bi allows room for the lines to be blurred. i am accepting of labels, and comfortable with them. i am a straight woman. if you aren't comfortable with labels, or people knowing the real deal, then maybe you aren't comfortable with what you are doing - at the very least. at the most, you aren't comfortable with yourself. either way you should probably be keeping it to yourself until you come to terms.
if my man cheated with another man, that would be a bigger blow to my self esteem. not being able to satisfy him as a woman and all those self inflicted implications. whereas with a woman, i would have fallen short as a wife. this is all inside my head of course. and i think if a man cheats with another man, that is a sign of a bigger problem. i think that that is more than cheating. and i would always feel like he really wanted to be with a man and that the family/wife thing was just a coverup. dramatic, i know.
we need a man's perspective on this...phoenix...i get too defensive with topics like this.
Mama..you tickle me, and thanks for calling me out. OH BTW, it's feenix...LOL
From my perspective, hmmmmm where should I begin.
First off, Really Ria, I mean Really?
With that being said in order for you to even remotely engage in any type of sexual activity with someone of the same sex, there has to be an underlying curiosity or attraction. I don't care if you are doing it for the money or entertainment. So PLEASE don't be fooled by that excuse.
As for women, the reason why this is "accepted" hence the quotation marks is because when the guy is found out, you internalize the issue and question what you did wrong and were you not woman enough. First off, you can't compete with a penis, so that should stop your questioning right there. Secondly, I don't think you were PRESENT during the act, so why take any type of blame for it. In response to Mama talking about her man cheating with a man/woman she says and I quote "whereas with a woman, i would have fallen short as a wife." I can understand that because physically you are constructed the same so what about her made him "leave" you even if only for one night....?
Can we define "special kisses..."?
Cheating is cheating no matter who the other person was. Cheating happens for 1 of 2 reasons. Greed and missing components of the current situation! So why should it matter what the gender of the other person is. And with the current lines of sexual satisfaction BLURRED, I think the only thing that is taboo at this point in time, IS THE USE OF CONDOMS!
p.s. Sometimes the whole wife/family thing isn't a cover up, it's an expectation that one met to satisfy the gripes of their family...think about it!
p.p.s. Think about this...you know what you like sexually done to please you, yes? You know what spots on your body make you tingle, yes? You know how much pressure to apply to you to get you going, yes? So imagine someone knowing that same information and using it against you...Then you will understand why people of the same gender have sex with each other. Men and Women LOVE getting head... They really don't care where it comes from. But they prefer it from someone that KNOWS where and how!
~feenix
Glad to see we have some good discussion going on so far. I can totally see where Mama is coming from. If my man cheated with another man whether it was head or whatever, I would feel like it was a huge blow to me as a woman. Its different with a woman, b/c essentially I could potentially give him whatever it was he felt he was missing to make him cheat. But like you said feenix I can't compete with a penis. So where do you go from there? I think in every cheating situation (especially in a marriage or long term relationship) if a partner cheats the other person will look to themselves to see what role they may have played in their mate going elsewhere. You want to know what you did or didn't do or could have done better to keep them at home. But if my man just likes other men then I can be an amazing woman, but nothing I do will take away his attraction to other men. so again...Where do you go from there?
In terms of your comment about men and women like getting head that is totally true. However, I don't agree that it doesn't matter where it comes from. For me personally in order for me to be turned on period I have to have some attraction. I mean i could get some head from a guy that I really wasn't into, but i would have to close my eyes and pretend he was someone else to get myself there (seriously). So since i've never been attracted in that way to another female, I can't imagine being able to get that same level of arousal. Yes she's a woman and she knows how things down there work and what to do to get certain reactions, but there is an element of attraction that you just can't fake. I would prefer loving of any kind, either fully physical or just oral from a man that I was attracted to.
To go along with that don't you need that attraction to the same sex to even get to that point. I mean i'm not just going to walk down the street and end up with some woman's head between my legs. There would have to be initial conversation, interaction, time, place, and opportunity before any of this goes down. And this is one of the reasons I don't get a person not only being attracted to the same sex but engaging with a person of the same sex and still claiming to be straight.
And whether you know it or not...YOU PROVED MY POINT! Can always count on you sis!
feenix, sorry for the mispell...shouldn't have been lazy and just went back and looked at an old post, lol. a cheat is a cheat, tru, but it would be a definite sting if it was man/man. seriously bruised ego. and a cover-up is a cover-up - even if just to meet expectations. such a hurtful situation. could not imagine my (mentally) perfect little world being shattered in such a way!
Post a Comment