Who's Side do you Take?

Question…who do you side with your girl or your guy? The world of relationships can become so very complex. I mean it’s a strange thing that happens when you start dating a guy. They begin to get integrated into a circle of friends that have been around for years. You begin to give them considerations that you would only give people with the utmost level of trust and confidence. Hell you begin to love them…really big deal. But what happens when the relationship between your man and one of your besties enters into the gray zone? What is the gray zone? That is when the relationship starts to border on inappropriate. Maybe they start having conversations with each other without the person knowing, maybe they start to hang out, or maybe they even begin to have feelings for one another. What do you do?

Here is the situation (real names changed for privacy). Kevin and Jamie are married and have a kid. Jamie’s best friend Sara is really close to the couple and often comes by to visit for days at a time, staying in the house with the two of them. Sara and Kevin end up becoming close, talking and exchanging IM chats with each other both with and without Jamie’s knowledge. Eventually of course the proverbial shite hits the fan when Sara sends Jamie a note saying “Kevin asked me not to come visit next month because he said he has feelings for me”. When confronted, Kevin admits he has been talking to Sara about their marital problems and they both discovered they had feelings for each other, which is why he told Sara not to come visit…what happens next. Should Jamie try to work on her marriage? Should she try to repair her friendship with Sara? Should she say screw both of those bastards?

Often in situations like these a woman will choose her man over her girlfriend. I can’t tell you how many friendships I’ve seen end over one person getting too close to the others companion. I think this dynamic is different with guys though. Isn’t the term “bros over hoes”. I believe most guys would let go of their shady girlfriend before ending a friendship with one of their boys (this however is just my opinion). It does however beg the question; why not leave both of them alone? Is it that the level of betrayal is more serious for the best friend than for the boyfriend? Are there other factors that come into play, like who came on to who? Or who told the truth about the situation first?