Monday, August 23, 2010
Is there an obligation?
Question...as a woman, are you obligated to physically satisfy your man? This post is actually related to a very specific conversation I had with my friend. She is currently unable to engage in intercourse. It's been about a month and a half since she and her boyfriend got it in. Recently they got into a bit of a spat b/c he says that even though she can't give him sex, there is nothing wrong with her mouth (his exact words). Implying that since she can't give up the hot pocket, she should be giving up the next best thing...special kisses. She was pretty offended by this b/c that was the last thing on her mind. However, the whole thing made me think. If for whatever reason you couldn't have sex with your mate, does it become your job to find alternate ways to satisfy them...Maybe job is too strong of a word. Should you try to find other ways to satisfy your man? Does it depend on the level of the relationship (i.e. married, serious relationship, dating). Or is it offensive for a guy to even think such a thing?
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7 comments:
I'm leaning towards yes. I'm just saying.. to just not get any kind of sex at all is just WRONG! lol.. Is this friend preggo by any chance?
I would say yes also. It also works both ways too. If a guy can't get it up then he should use his tongue, fingers, hands, toys, something to help satisfy his woman. If you're in a sexual relationship you want to make sure she/he's taken care of and satisfied.
@ Michelle, yes she is preggo and its a complicated one so the dr had told her no intercourse.
@ 2 cents, lol @ "tongue, fingers, hands, toys, something" but I feel you
I agree that if for whatever reason somebody isn't/can't give up the goods you do need come up with some alternate sources of pleasure. Although I have to admit I might give someone the side eye if they hit me with "well there's nothing wrong with your mouth" there is certainly a better way to address the topic, but lack of sex can make ppl a little testy...lol
You're right there is a better way to ask. I'm guessing "well there's nothing wrong with your mouth" didn't get him what he wanted or very far...lol
i say yes...but only if they are deserving of it. some bullshite comment like that would shut it right down.
since she's only preggo...there are a whole bunch of other fun things they could be doing!!!
they will both have to step it up to keep each other satisfied, or else feelings of resentment will sneak in a ruin things.
i think they need a date to a specialty store, lol.
are his fingers and tongue broke? they both need to think outside the BOX, LMAO
I believe whatever the circumstance that is a part of the relationship on both sides, you are suppose to do what you have to do for your mate especially in marriage. When it comes to that, I do not believe no is an option, theres always something you can do and i dont always agree it has to be physical.
@ mama, lol at thinking outside "the box", but you are so right. They both have to do the work. Sometimes when your preggo sex is the last thing on your mind, but you do have to consider the needs of your partners. If both parties are open you can be very creative
@ Ro, I agree with you as well, especially in a marriage. Basically everyone has needs and in a relationship you have to work to make sure your partners needs are met and vice versa. Something like this could be an opportunity for them to grow closer in their intimacy instead of being a cause of frustration. Both parties have to do better
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