Question...if you had been dating a guy for 5 months and there was nothing going on in the loving department what would you think? This situation is a bit interesting b/c sex or the lack thereof can cause a number of problems in a relationship. So let’s say you've been dating a guy for 5 months and he does not want to have sex with you. He isn't a virgin and he's not waiting for marriage, he says he just wants to take his time? Would that be flattering? Would that be difficult to deal with? Personally speaking going 5 months without sex is easy when you aren't in a relationship, but when you're consistently dating someone that is pretty hard. I could respect a decision like that from a guy I was dealing with, but I also would not be able to be alone with them b/c I would probably attack them at some point. In the situation I speak of, the woman has actually made advances towards the guy, but he has turned her down.
Now for the sake of argument, isn't this rather refreshing? In an era of dating where sex is so commonplace, many folks these days get it in on the first date. So finding a guy that is willing to put in some serious time just being in the relationship and getting to know you is wonderful. It allows you to really see a person for who they are without being clouded by the sex. But if you are a person that likes to have sex when you're in a relationship something like that would be pretty hard to deal with. Especially when you offer up the hot pocket and the guy graciously declines. I mean where do you go from there? What is a reasonable waiting period for relations? At what point do you start to question the situation? What would you do about it?
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4 comments:
5 months is a long time! esp if you are dating exclusively! i can't see any reason for 2 adults to wait. either you are feeling each other or not!
You don't think its slightly charming to have a guy that wants to wait? I don't know I think it might get old after a while, but if he's a decent guy isn't it worth waiting for? lol!
lol...nope. if he's got the goods, get it girl!
Normally, I am the one saying yes I'm only dating you let's wait. I'm not waiting for a special moment, I truly just want to get to know the person before, sex can cloud your judgement. Now I had it flipped on me once before and met someone who wanted to wait, I didn't have to say it and it was some very hard moments but I had much more respect for him, believed in his word more knowing he just wasn't trying to be bump buddies etc. It also built a solid foundation for our friendship and later relationship where I felt I could trust him and trust is a sticky issue for me. So to me its sweet shows a lot of maturity and you want something long lasting.
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