Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Dating a Deadbeat Parent
Question…if you are dating a guy that you can tell isn’t a very good father to his kids, what do you do? A girl I knew went through this recently. She had been dating this guy that she really liked, but she knew he wasn’t really spending any time with his kid b/c he was spending it all with her. She also knew that he paid some child support, but he really didn’t do much outside of that. She wondered if it were her place to say something to him. As a single mother, I know that if I dated a guy that in my opinion didn’t do enough for his kids I would have to leave him alone. I just wouldn’t be able to date a man knowing he was giving less than 100% to his kids and that there was some woman out there having to deal with the same shenanigans I’ve had to put up with. But even deeper than that, I think the role they play in the lives of their child (ren) is a serious indication of their character. If they can justify not being around for their offspring, then what else can they justify? What kind of man could they be for you? This goes the same for guys who meet women that either don’t spend time with or poorly treat their children. Is this the equivalent of a big flashing red “leave them alone” sign? Is it your place to confront them about what they are doing/not doing? Is it grounds for relationship dismissal?
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2 comments:
leave them alone. normally when you date people, they are on their best behavior - at least in the beginning. surely no man or woman would want to look like a deadbeat....and if they don't care enough to at least act like they care, then def leave them alone!
LEAVE HIM ---QUICK, FAST & IN A HURRY!!! (was that clear enough..lol)...I have dated both sides of the spectrum: 1 dude who paid about $700/month, plus carried the kids on insurance AND had them Sun-Sat (every other week)...there was NO time for me...THEN, I dated 1 dude who had a nice living situation set up for himself, but his kids were not as "fortunate", BUT he did spend time with them and supported all school funcctions and activities..*long sigh*...needless to say, both situations were not my cup of tea and they didn't last very long...it was a turn off on both sides...
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