Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Oh, by the way...
Question...when meeting someone new, at what point should you mention that you have kids? I actually pondered this recently as I met a guy that at the time could have been a potential. The first time we talked I didn't mention kids at all, I don't believe, b/c the conversation just never went there. However, after the first conversation, when I thought I might let him take me out I brought it up just so it would be out in the open. However, I have a friend who talked to a guy for a few weeks before he made any mention of the fact he had multiple children. Its interesting b/c as a single parent I don't want to tattoo "hey I have kids" on my forehead. When I meet someone I want to at least do the first assessment of whether I even like them, but I also want to be sure I put it out there early just in case it’s a deal breaker for someone. I think that info should come out no later than the first date or by the 2nd or 3rd conversation...What do you think?
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4 comments:
it is not something that a 'new person' is entitled to know. that is private, and you don't know them!!! what if they 'like' kids, or just want an instant family....and any other negative that goes with that.
that conversation definitely comes later....
I'm a little torn on the timeline with these things..I was "seeing" (not dating exclusively, but a lot of movies, eating out, etc.)a guy in undergrad and he was a student also, so at that time, I was assuming he had no kids..well, it was about a year of this casual relationship that he said, "oh yeah, by the way..I have a 3 year old daughter"...I must say, I felt a lil in the dark..like, well...when were you going to tell me this important piece of information?? BUT, I was young and I just thought I should have known earlier...I think conversation 3 or 4 is a good time to bring it to the forefront..However, being single, a lot of guys ask me if I have kids within the first 5 mins...must be a DC/MD thing..lol
lol @ the first 5 minutes :). Interestingly enough the last couple of guys that actually engaged me in conversation didn't ask about kids right away. But, I acutally end up bringing it up in some way b/c the kids are interwoven into almost every aspect of my life. So just in general converation I end up saying something about my kids. And I would imagine the situation would be similar for anyone with kids. In that same vein I try not to make every conversation all about my kids b/c that can be a turn off. Its not the first thing you talk about, but at some point early on in getting to know a person that should come up.
Well, I assume it is because I have "baby making hips"...LOL...they just assume that I MUST have babies with hips like those..lol
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