Question...What level of obligation does a man have to the mother of his child if they are no longer together. Allow me to put a little more context to this question. Lets hypothetically say that boy meets girl, boy and girl get together and have a nice little fling, eventually the romance dies shite happens and boy and girl part ways. About a month or so girl finds out she's totally knocked up. She of course tells boy and they try to find a way to get back on good terms for the sake of the baby. What obligation, if any, does the guy have to be there for the girl during the pregnancy. Are there certain things that should be a given or should he be able to decide if, when, and what he's going to do (of course the fact that he gets a choice in the matter is a luxury within itself, but that's another blog). Should the girl expect that she can depend on things like him driving her to the hospital when its time. Or having him in the room when the baby is born. Coming to lamaze classes with her. Since it is his baby shouldn't he be expected to do those things? Or is it wrong for a woman to expect such things from a man that is simply the "father of her child" and not a boyfriend or husband? What about after the fact, is it outlandish to expect the boy to take off work a few days to be "around" or maybe to stay around the first week or two to help out? I realize this subject is highly subjective, but I'm rather curious as to what you all think the "role of the BD" should be?
Disclaimer to mitigate any and all rumors before they start: This blog is in no way a representation of the poster's life. All characters, details, and situations are a pure result of my overactive mind and quest to be all deep and thought provoking. The terms "boy" and "girl" are not real names, simply nouns used to describe a male and a female (i swear, you can look it up). This blog is not in any way whatsoever a reflection of my life, nor the life of any of my friends, family, associates, monkey minions, evil robots, demon fish, or co workers. I just want your thoughts ;-)
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Yellow Brick Road Blog by Sheria is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at www.ybrofficial.blogspot.com
The road to a happy relationship is often like the long winding Yellow Brick Road from the Wizard of Oz. The characters travel such a long distance looking for things they think they want or need only to find out they had them all along or what they were looking for wasn't what they really wanted at all. YBR is a blog about the ups/downs, good/bad, and wrong/right of relationships. Questions are posed for feedback and insight from readers.
Copyright
Yellow Brick Road Blog by Sheria is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at www.ybrofficial.blogspot.com
3 comments:
First before I even get to the blog itself can I just say Imma EF you up for the disclaimer....
Now back to our regularly scheduled program. Well you already know me and I think that everything pre baby is for the comfort of the mother and what she wants and feels should be done. Before Lamaze WO-MAN gave birth just fine so if the BD does not want to go to lamaze then fine don't go. These extra things, I believe are just ploys to get "him" to be around because that's what she wants. As far as taking off, not alot of organizations recognize the "BD's" role in a birth so he may not be able to get the time off, so that is situational. There are so many dynamics that play into a fling that results in spawn. For one, you were never serious enough to have a child and in reality there is no such thing as a crash course in seriousness.... some things you just have to live with.
That disclaimer needs to be under copyright...ASAP!! *DEAD*
Now carrying on with the business at hand...YES, the man should be a decent enough person to WANT to do some things that provide comfort and ease for the mother, however, asking one may lead him to feel pressured and therefore resentful. We all know those nug--*clears throat*, umm... men..act NASTY when they don't really want to do something.
I feel like he should ATTEMPT to make arrangements with his employer (i.e. FMLA is available through most employers for MEN) to take at least a week off. If he doesn't want to actually stay in the home for personal comfort reasons, he should at least plan to make a few bottles and change more than a few diapers over the course of the day.
Again, that's my 2 cents!
my thoughts are along the same line as stiletto's, he should want to be a decent enough man. so the real question is what kind of man is he? if you couldn't expect much in the relationship, why would you now? i think too, the boy might not get it. the girl does, cause she is preg, but that doesn't mean the same thing to the boy who is living his life as normal.
Post a Comment