Rules of Quitting...

Question…if you are early on in dating a person and for whatever reason you decide to quit them, do you need to officially let them know they’ve been quit or is it ok to just disappear? Now understand with this I’m not talking about a serious relationship b/c clearly that deserves an actual ending. But let’s say you’ve only gone out on two or three dates and you realize they just aren’t it. Can you just slowly stop returning their calls or stop accepting dates and try to end them into the friend zone? Is that rude? What if you’ve given them some lovin and then you realize it’s just not going to work…does the introduction of lovin warrant a face to face quitting? What’s appropriate?

Dating a Deadbeat Parent

Question…if you are dating a guy that you can tell isn’t a very good father to his kids, what do you do? A girl I knew went through this recently. She had been dating this guy that she really liked, but she knew he wasn’t really spending any time with his kid b/c he was spending it all with her. She also knew that he paid some child support, but he really didn’t do much outside of that. She wondered if it were her place to say something to him. As a single mother, I know that if I dated a guy that in my opinion didn’t do enough for his kids I would have to leave him alone. I just wouldn’t be able to date a man knowing he was giving less than 100% to his kids and that there was some woman out there having to deal with the same shenanigans I’ve had to put up with. But even deeper than that, I think the role they play in the lives of their child (ren) is a serious indication of their character. If they can justify not being around for their offspring, then what else can they justify? What kind of man could they be for you? This goes the same for guys who meet women that either don’t spend time with or poorly treat their children. Is this the equivalent of a big flashing red “leave them alone” sign? Is it your place to confront them about what they are doing/not doing? Is it grounds for relationship dismissal?