Single Lady...Not Any More!

Question…Exactly how much of your single woman behavior must change when you get into a relationship? So I was talking to a very close friend of mine that is battling this issue in her relationship. She and the guy have known each other for years and have officially been together for about a year now. However, in the past 4 or 5 months he’s begun to tighten up the reigns on her quite significantly. For example, he does not like her hanging out with her single friends (which happens to be the majority of her friends). When/if she does go out he expects her to be in the house by 11pm. She once attended a dinner party at a close friend’s house and didn’t get back home until around 1am. When they finally spoke he accused her of acting like she was still single. He also no longer wants her taking trips (something she’s been doing for years) with her single friends b/c he considers it disrespectful to him…since they are in a relationship and all. In addition to all this there are the standard “rules” of letting him know where she’s going, what she’s doing, making sure she answers the phone when he calls (or quickly returns the call) blah, blah, blah.
So I’m all for relationships and I totally understand that there are certain courtesies that you give your SO when in a relationship, like telling them when you are going out and maybe who you’re hanging out with. But are curfews reasonable? Are you supposed to distance yourself from your single friends once you have a relationship? After all, those friends were the same ones that were around before the relationship? When in a relationship is it disrespectful to go on a fun weekend trip with the girls? Is it fair for the guy to expect her to change so much simply because she’s “not single anymore”? And finally what should she do if she doesn’t like the new rules?

Gettin in the Way

Question...If you see the SO of a friend out with another guy/girl is it your place to say something? So this post is a result of something I heard on a radio show this morning. Lets say you have a friend that you're cool with. You introduce this friend to your man and you all are pretty cool. Well one day she sees you out with another guy having lunch. She comes over and speaks and you think nothing of it. After, your SO tells you that this friend sent him a text message saying "hey I saw your girl out at lunch with some guy, I just thought you should know". Now lets also keep in mind that your man knew all about the lunch, in fact he was supposed to be there, but cancelled at the last minute b/c something came up. Would you have a problem with that? Should the friend have sent a text to the man or maybe asked you about the situation first? Is the friend crazy for even assuming that just because you were out with a member of the opposite sex that something slutacious was going on?

And that leads me to the question, what role do you play when it comes to telling a friend about shady behavior. For example, if you see your best friends man/woman out with someone else do you even mention it? If the interaction looks a little more than friendly should you tell/warn your friend? What if you are friends with both parties, do you even want to get involved in the drama? What implications could that have on the friend ships?